The Struggles of Being a Woman in a Body
As a therapist, I have sat with many women who carry deep pain about their bodies. For some, they’ve carried since childhood and for others, they’re experiencing it for the first time as adults. I have worked with women who panic after gaining weight. Women who avoid mirrors. Women who scrutinize every photo of themselves. Women who compare themselves relentlessly to other women online. The pain of inadequacy is more and more apparent. I, too, am no stranger to body dysmorphia and body image insecurities.
Girls learn early that their bodies are not just bodies — they are social currency. Bodies become things to evaluate, improve, shrink, discipline, and present correctly. Many girls absorb the message that being desirable, accepted, admired, loved, or even worthy is connected to how closely they align with cultural beauty standards. Women are often treated differently based on body size. They may receive different social feedback, medical treatment, romantic attention, or assumptions about their character and worth. So body image struggles are not purely individual insecurities — they are shaped by real messaging and lived experiences. Be thin, but not too thin. Be Curvy, but only in the “right places”. Be fit, but not too muscular. Women continue chasing these standards because the culture quietly promises that finally achieving the “right” body will lead to confidence, peace, belonging, love, or self-worth.
Furthermore, I think it’s important to acknowledge that cultural norms and standards play a large role in body image struggles. In many Asian cultures, smaller bodies are not simply preferred — they are often normalized, expected, and socially reinforced from a very young age. Comments about weight, appearance, and eating habits can become deeply woven into family dynamics and everyday conversation. For many people who grew up in these environments, body criticism is framed as concern, honesty, discipline, or even care. But that does not mean it did not hurt. What can make this especially difficult is that many women are trying to heal their relationship with their bodies while still remaining connected to cultural and familial environments that continue reinforcing these beliefs. That creates a painful tension: wanting to practice self-acceptance while still hearing messages that thinner is better, more respectable, or more beautiful. Many people carry grief around how early they learned to scrutinize themselves. When body monitoring begins in childhood, it can become difficult to even recognize how much mental and emotional energy has been spent trying to remain acceptable in the eyes of others.
Undeniably, social media has also greatly affected the conversation on body image. If your social media page regularly consists of people with thin bodies, then the narrative on what kind of body you should have, also shifts. With the rise of GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and other weight loss drugs, it feels as though we are rapidly returning to an era where thinness is once again being openly elevated and idealized. Bodies are changing dramatically in public view, celebrities are shrinking, and the world around us is reinforcing the message that becoming thinner is preferable.
But here’s something of note: body shame is rarely just about the body. Often, body obsession is about a deeper emotional experience: anxiety, rejection, inadequacy, loneliness, lack of control, grief, trauma, or fear of not being enough. The body becomes the battleground for emotional pain and modern wellness culture has complicated this even further.
Many people have begun recognizing the harm of obvious diet culture, yet what often replaces it is something more subtle and socially praised: wellness culture. Instead of directly pursuing thinness, people pursue “health,” “clean eating,” “optimization,” “discipline,” or “self-improvement.” But underneath it can still be the same fear-driven pursuit of worthiness through body control.
This is what dietitian and author Christy Harrison often discusses in her work: wellness culture can become diet culture wearing a socially acceptable disguise. The language changes, but the emotional experience often stays the same.
Restriction becomes “clean eating.”
Exercise becomes about “discipline.”
Body control becomes “wellness.”
Moral judgment becomes attached to food choices.
Thinness becomes equated with virtue, health, and self-respect.
Thus women remain trapped in constant self-monitoring.
This is partly why movements like Health at Every Size (HAES) have become so meaningful for many people. HAES is not the claim that every person is healthy regardless of circumstance, nor is it a denial that health matters. Rather, it challenges the assumption that body size alone determines health, worth, or moral value.
HAES emphasizes several important ideas:
Respect for body diversity
Weight-inclusive healthcare
Intuitive eating rather than chronic dieting
Joyful movement instead of punishment-based exercise
Recognition that health is influenced by many factors beyond weight alone
For many women, discovering HAES can feel deeply relieving because it offers an alternative to the exhausting belief that life must revolve around shrinking oneself.
This is why healing body image is often much deeper than learning to “love your body.” For some women, that phrase itself feels impossible. Sometimes healing begins more modestly:
Learning to stop waging war against the body
Recognizing how much mental energy has been consumed by appearance
Separating self-worth from attractiveness
Eating without guilt
Moving the body from care rather than punishment
Letting the body be a body instead of a lifelong self-improvement project
Though this all sounds great, actually internalizing these ideas can be challenging. It is, after-all, a journey, a process, a mindset change. None of these things happen quickly but it is possible and it will be freeing.